Letter to Birth Parent

Dear Friend,
This is probably one of the most challenging periods of your life as a parent, and I won’t pretend to know exactly what it is like to have your child taken from your arms.

But here is what I do know. You love your child. No matter what mistakes you’ve made as a parent (and trust me, everyone makes mistakes), I know that you never intended this to happen. I believe you do want to be the parent your child deserves.

I began this letter by calling you “Friend” for a reason. I want you to know that I am not your enemy. I will never speak negatively of you to your child. I am not going to try to change who your child is or the dreams you have for him/her. I love your child, and he/she may grow to love me back, but I will never replace you. (The awesome thing about love is that there is no limit in how much you can give or receive.) Take comfort in the fact that your child is being loved and protected just the way you would want him/her to be. You don’t know me yet, but I hope that once you do, you will feel at peace knowing that you can trust me. I do not have birth children of my own (although I may someday in the future when I am married), but I have been a babysitter, nanny, auntie, and caregiver for children for many years. Parents trust me with their children, and you can, too. I am also currently an elementary school teacher in Lexington, and I have spent the last few summers volunteering in orphanages in different countries.

I know you may have heard stories or seen movies with horrible foster parents doing unimaginable things to children, and I promise you that nothing like that will EVER happen to your child under my watch. Those foster parents you hear about are not the norm. The foster parents I know are wonderful, loving people… just the kind of families you would want watching your kids while you’re gone.

I made 3 promises to your child. These same promises I make to you.
1. I promise to do everything in my power to protect your precious child.
2. I promise that I will never try to hurt him/her.
3. Finally, I promise to love your beautiful child unconditionally just as I would want someone else to love my own child unconditionally if I could not be there.

Finally, I just want to speak hope to you. There is nothing you have done that is beyond the grace of God. He can make all things new. He creates beauty from ashes! I have personally seen Him transform even the most hopeless, desperate situations into victories. God is always for the underdog. Turn to Him, show Him your heart, tell Him you are sorry for the ways you have failed to live up to the person you were created to be, and He will not fail to rescue you. These are not empty words I am writing to you. They are real; the God I know can be trusted. The changes you will have to make in your life in order to have your children returned to you are not easy. If you find that you are not be able to do them on your own, cry out to God wherever you are, do the most good you can, and trust Him for help. The context for a miracle is always sacrifice. If you give everything you have to Him, He will transform you. Again, this is not just fake Christian blah-blah-blah. God is real, God is love, and He desires nothing more than to have you know this.

I hope you are not offended by this. I almost deleted these last 2 paragraphs…. But I HAVE to write it. I am here to support you, and the best thing I can offer you – the only thing that really means anything - is to tell you that you have direct access to the Creator of the universe who loves you a million times more than you know.

Your friend,
Nova